Number 5 on my earlier post about BlogWorld, 10 Things I learned at BlogWorld, was:

There’s a big difference between meeting someone and building a connection with someone. Chris Brogan (@chrisbrogan) taught me that in a 30-second conversation.  It requires a full post, but it changed how I think about things. Completely.

I wanted to expand on that thought, as promised, in more detail.

First, let me set up the scene.

I was talking with Jon Lansner, journalist for the Orange County Register, who I know from living in the OC and he and I attending numerous social media events in the area over the last year or so.  As we were walking he saw Chris Brogan and went over to say hi. I tagged along as we were wrapping up a conversation about a previous panel, and since I had never met Chris I thought this was a pretty decent opportunity to say hello and thank him for everything that he has written and shared.

Chris saw Jon coming and said hello.  I’m not sure how they met, but I would guess it was at Chris’s recent Orange County appearance and talk (see it here) to promote his new book Trust Agents.  Jon ran the idea by him that we were discussing previously and then Chris took that riff and rattled off no fewer than 3 opportunities for Jon around that idea including a company, a contact and his own thoughts on how it would play out.  Then he pulled out a business card, wrote down a name and email address and told Jon to contact that person regarding what we were speaking about.

Then I introduced myself to Chris and the first thing out of his mouth was “I really appreciate what TurnHere is doing.” (TurnHere is the company I work for, and I was wearing a TurnHere t-shirt. It also said it on my badge.)  Then he said “I remember when you guys started out with travel videos.”  I don’t remember what I said, but it was probably something like “Very cool,” and then Chris was off to an interview he was late for.

I was left totally speechless.

Why this is remarkable.

Let’s look at this here.  In the span of 5 minutes Chris accomplished the following:

• Was incredibly friendly and approachable even though he was on his way to an interview.  He was welcoming and open.
• He listened carefully to what Jon said and thought about it sincerely.
• He provided Jon a valuable contact regarding the idea (building a new connection) and even wrote down the email address to make connecting easier for Jon.
• He provided Jon insight on the idea and where he saw additional opportunity regarding the idea.
• He recognized where I was from and made me feel welcome and that what I was doing had value.
• He demonstrated that he wasn’t just BS-ing by referencing our early beginning.
• He left graciously and made an exceptionally valuable impression.

What I took away from this 5 minutes

As I was said, I was speechless.  I quickly realized that there is a huge difference between meeting someone and connecting with them and leaving a positive impression.  I think it’s pretty easy to see how the above interaction is much different than a “Hi. Nice to meet you.” interaction.  Personally, I’m going to make it my goal to do more what Chris does and less what I normally do which is just say “Hi” and then make small talk.  Compared to small talk, what Chris accomplished in 5 minutes is staggering.

Now, of course Chris is in a slightly different position than me (and maybe you) in that he is well-known, a published author and regularly hired to consult and speak on everything in the industry.  This means he knows a lot of people and can help a lot of people by putting the right folks together.  But my bet is that Chris has been doing this before he wrote his book, before he knew everyone.  I bet even with a smaller network Chris was putting together people that could benefit from the new connection.  I bet with a less-busy schedule he was devouring information and learning about the people he was meeting. Filing away tidbits to make them feel special, acknowledged and engaged.

So what I’ll be doing differently from here on out

As I meet new people I’m going to shift the way that I approach those new conversations and connections to try to emulate what Chris does.

• Constantly grok my network for areas where a new connection could benefit from an introduction to someone I know.  And make that connection for that person.
• Do more homework on people I’m likely to meet. I want to leave an impression when they walk away, and having more insight about who they are and what they do is critical to that.
• Actively listen always.  I like to think I’m a decent listener; but it doesn’t hurt to continually focus on becoming better at it.
• Think of thoughtful questions to pose in place of plesantries.  Why waste time with “How’s your conference going so far?” when you can leave an impression and create a meaningful connection with a substantiative conversation facilitated by you.
• Get a better sense of when to move on.  Chris knew the right point for an exit and took it graciously. Keeps him moving, keeps the interaction enjoyable and memorable and doesn’t drag on.

So what else did I miss?  What do you think?  Leave your thoughts in the comments and thanks for reading!

Photo Credit: Daniel Alexander/FramesMedia.com